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I'm not the type of person that cares much about awards or recognitions. Never have, never will. If one is following his/her heart for some greater good, simply seeing an idea come to fruition should serve as reward enough, I say.

However, I do appreciate that ITASA brought a group of us "founders" to the East Coast conference to talk about how/why we started ITASA. The opportunity to share stories and history to a younger generation is always a privilege. I suppose that I never really could have foreseen how nicely the organization would blossom over the past decade and a half, and certainly the credit should go to so many energetic and idealistic Taiwanese American students who followed us.

Co-coordinator Jon and his Rutgers staff did an amazing job running a jam-packed conference. I really commend Jon for his heart, his passion, and showing others what true servant leadership is all about - by integrating himself among the people he served and always putting his staff above him. How can you not respect an individual like that? Ask Jon if he appreciates the recognition that many will give him after such a successful conference - I'm sure the answer will be "yes," but the other important question is if he needed any recognition at all to accomplish what he did.

I think I know the answer to that question.

And that's the difference between a leader and someone you would follow.

I'm kind of short.

Michelle & Margaret.

Ula, Tim, Rolla, & Ho Chie = Old Folks.

Kiddy toys and silly boys. I'm Anna's biggest fan.

Haven't seen Mayline in years! Alex from TAYL.

Anna's documentary project inspires conversation.

TAF friends at ITASA Rutgers 2005.

En route to New Jersey...

A depressed Asian American patient recently took her own life. I had only heard about her briefly and some of the medical issues that she had been dealing with. I admire some of my physician colleagues who recognize that many patients easily fall through the cracks of a not-so-perfect health care system and who are trying to make a change for the better. I didn't know her, but as an Asian American health advocate, my heart is with her family. This is just a reminder for myself to give a monetary donation so that her poor father can fly in from Asia to be with his lost loved one.

I met up with ex-college roommate Jesse for an early dinner today. During our conversation, I was updated about some of our peers who are getting married, having kids, changing jobs, moving to second homes... This weekend, I'm going to the Rutgers ITASA Conference to be on a panel with fellow "old folks" to talk about the "early days." Except, I don't think of myself as that old, nor do I really relate with my so-called peer group. Why am I stuck in a time warp? I need to grow up.

I'm spending more time working this weekend than most people spend at work for an entire week. I practically live at the hospital, and I'm slightly bitter. I also learned today that there's a medical billing code 313.1 that represents the diagnosis "misery and unhappiness." I got a good laugh from that one. At least I still have my sense of humor left. 313.1 is my new code for life as a resident.

This rain is depressing.

Sushi dinner with the local TAF family.

Yummy mochi and tempura ice cream!

My team at work.

We all live these parallel tracks in our path through life, where we have expertise and accomplishment in certain areas and fledgling experience in yet others. We are good at lots of things, getting better at others, and maybe without potential in some. This reality is just something we all have to accept. The hardest part, however, might be weaving in and out of our communities with or without our game face on, figuring out where we really fit in, how we are seen through other people's eyes. In the face of perceived or true inadequacy, however, the truth is we are all afraid that one day we'll be "found out," and then all respect will be lost. I guess this fear is what drives us to be better.

I'm no exception.

There are days when I feel so accomplished, yet others when I wish I could be so much more than I really am - personally, professionally... I wish I could share more, but I'm afraid too.

You're all quite cute, and the best part is that some of you don't even know it. That makes you even more attractive. My heart flutters. Happy V Day.

The 2005 TAF Board Retreat.

Karen, me & Margaret.

The JR, JH, Youth & College Program Directors for TAF 2005!

Charlene & Heather meet us for lunch before our flights home.

Program Directors' presentations.

1st and 2nd generation attendees.

Dinner break. Karen has appetite.

Work or play?

Red eye to Chicago. I can already feel the chills.

Sophia and I went to an Asian American Film Festival fundraising/social event this evening. We met some cool people doing good things. It reminded me of how much I enjoyed supporting APA community functions back in the day. I can't remember when it all started to fade away for me. I miss it. I think I need to get back into the scene.

Lunar New Year factoid #205: The grandness of the feast is directly proportional to the number of seafood platters presented and inversely related to the quantity of rice served.

An excerpted email from old college friend Jeremy:
"I'm teaching various multimedia and Internet computer classes at my Jr High and today, we are in the middle of making an Internet home page with my 6th graders. They needed a good example of a home page and I decided that your web page www.hochie.net was an excellent example. It's diverse on topics, organized, and simple. I hope you don't mind. And, I hope you don't get some ridiculous email from my students. They are, after all, in 6th grade."

Phew. I'm glad he emailed. For a while there, I thought I was being stalked by 6th grade kids that I didn't know.

Greetings Mr. Bautista's 6th Grade Class!

Make that six.

I think my heart skipped a beat tonight. I don't know... it could just be an arrhythmia.

I would love to be lost in some far-off city in the world, taking in the sights, the smells... How lovely it would be to sit quietly at some outdoor cafe at a busy intersection and watch the locals go about their lives. I could dream and wonder about all the people I see - what they do, what makes them tick. Would that make me appreciate my life just a little bit more? I don't know. One thing is for sure, I have definitely been cooped up too long.

At the moment, I have about five mini-crushes. Yes, I know, that's alot, but that number is well within my typical range. Sometimes I have none, but I can have as many as eight or nine before I get confused. Some of these crushes are more recently inspired, while others are waning. (Sorry, love, you may never know...) It really all depends on my mood, the color of my socks, or what shows are on TV.

Today, I have a certain crush on sweet potato fries. You are simply scrumptious. *hugs* and *chews*

For the third night in a row, I'm asking myself why I'm enjoying plain tofu so much. Again, I ate an entire brick of tofu. Considering that my typical diet consists of unhealthy fried foods, I find this a bit disturbing.