My DSL is not cooperating. My telephone isn't behaving. My laptop software is going berserk. My cable TV just isn't happening. And even my freezer is letting ants hang out inside it. Yes, my freezer. I do believe that technology is planning a revolt against me. It is the beginning of the end. I knew this day would come.

I'm not going to fight it. Instead, I will just go to sleep and let it consume me. Leave me and save yourselves, people.