My official name is now Jay Ho Chie Tsai. I think. But, I'm not sure.
So, I'm confused now, and it's causing much grief in my life. This is how it all started.

Last week at the Department of Motor Vehicles:
Lost Illinois Boy: "I just moved to California, and I'd like to get a new driver's license and register my car."
Counter lady #13: "Please show me a valid photo ID"
Lost Illinois Boy: "OK, here's my Illinois drivers license."
Counter lady #13: "I need a photo ID that's not a license."
Lost Illinois Boy: "OK, here's my passport."
Counter lady #13: "Your first name is Jay Ho Chie?"
Lost Illinois Boy: "Well, it's only Ho Chie. I never use Jay, and my passport is the only place where it says Jay. Can you just leave the Jay off my license?"
Counter lady #13: "No. I have to put it exactly as I see it."
Lost Illinois Boy: "But, I've never ever used Jay. All my documents and identity revolve around Ho Chie."
Counter lady #13: "Sorry."
Lost Illinois Boy: "Fine. Fine. Just make sure you put it all as a first name. It's not a middle name."

The next day at the bank:
Lost Illinois Boy: "I just moved to California, and I'd like to open a bank account."
Banking lady: "Photo ID please."
Lost Illinois Boy: "Here you go. I only have the temporary paper license, and here's my passport."
Banking lady: "Your name is Jay Ho Chie Tsai, sir?."
Lost Illinois Boy: "Yes, but not really. I'd like to have my account only under the name Ho Chie, because that's where my paychecks are going, and that's how all my records list me since forever."
Banking lady: "But you might have problems if you come to the counter and show them your license. It's best to just put your complete name."
Lost Illinois Boy: "Um. Oh, OK."

Letter in the mail today:
"The Social Security Administration notified the DMV that the name you provided did not match SSA's records... DMV cannot issue a driver license or identification card until SSA verifies the information is correct..."

Right now:
"Uh Oh."